Finally, I had a breakthrough last night that I am so excited to share with everyone. I found my calling! Now of course, it’s no great surprise, but it’s something I’ve been struggling with.
I Found My Calling!
It’s taken me until almost 30 to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve worked several different jobs and gone to school 4 times for different majors. Still, I don’t have a degree because those moments of inspiration didn’t last. They weren’t my calling.
Now I’m watching my boyfriend go through the same process, only with much more pressure. He has a bachelor’s degree in a field he doesn’t enjoy and isn’t finding himself fond of office work either. He feels called to the labour force – working hard and earning and honest living. So now he has the burden of making career decisions that will hopefully stick in the long term.
I found my calling!
In the past, I sincerely thought I was called to do big things. I’m blessed with an ability to do school work easily and have built up a pretty decent experience pool to draw from when looking for work. But, no matter how many times I’ve tried to enter these fields, I always struggle with severe anxiety.
Clearly, those things are not my calling. It took a divorce, a lot of soul searching, way too much time away from my kids, and a supportive partner to make me realize that I am truly called to the home. I’m called to raising children, to homemaking, and to taking care of my partner.
Sometimes I thought I could never be called to homemaking
In my last relationship homemaking didn’t feel like a calling. It felt like a prison. I couldn’t appreciate my love for my children and home because I was dealing with other problems. We don’t always know what our calling is until we do something different.
I also struggle a lot with not being able to keep a perfectly clean home. My children are often messy and I have a few that are high needs. I also have additional responsibilities of work on my shoulders. Now I realize that there are changes I can make to have a cleaner home and have a better grasp on homemaking.
What this means
Well, it doesn’t actually change a whole lot in my life. The thing is, once you’ve found your calling you might not actually be able to live it right away.
Just because I’m called to homemaking and raising kids doesn’t mean that’s my whole entire life. I still have to earn a living. I also have been building my life around my call to homemaking even if I didn’t realize it. For example, I already work from home around my kids’ schedules.
There are other things I’m called to and things I enjoy. Like writing. But it’s not my calling. Yes, I dream to one day have a book published, but it’s not something I feel completely driven towards. Not in the same way I’m driven towards my family.
What I enjoy about homemaking
For me, homemaking is a way to give to my family and my partner. I can give my children more because I’m not picking them up from daycare and racing each evening. My weekends can be for fun because I have other times to do chores. My partner and I can spend time together because we both don’t have to clean all the time. He’s also more relaxed for work.
I love that I don’t have to go out into the world every day. I have severe anxiety and although I can and have worked, it doesn’t feel like myself. I’ts not like I’m slacking off every day at home but I love that I have control over my schedule and day-to-day.
How I plan to use this blog
Hopefully my blog will be a great platform to share my knowledge and experience homemaking and mothering with others. After all, I do have 5 children. We’re in the middle of renovating our outdated 1970s “square box build” house. I work from home. There’s a lot that I’m still learning, and other things I do well enough. Either way, I hope to provide encouragement for other struggling mothers.
It doesn’t matter if you’re called to homemaking or not, although I hope you can find a way to let it into your heart. It seems to be a dying art.
If you are not called to homemaking
I urge you to really dig deep and see if that’s true, especially if you’re a stay at home mom. Do you feel like you’re tired and stressed out? Is your marriage an unhappy one? Are you unfulfilled with some of your other needs so that it makes you feel as if your entire life is unfulfilling?
Motherhood can be tough. Homemaking can be isolating. Sometimes we feel so engulfed in this that we can’t see the forest for the trees. Trust me, I was there.
You can have hobbies, needs, and even a job and still be called to homemaking. Homemaking isn’t slavery – it’s a choice. A role. A job. Something you do for your family.