Are you a stay at home mom that’s struggling to be happy with your role? Being home all day with kids can be exhausting, isolating, and sometimes downright depressing. So it’s pretty easy to fall into a slump and get a case of the blues. Especially if your kids are in a stage. But, there are things happy stay at home moms always do to avoid having a life that gets them down.
10 Things Happy Stay at Home Moms Always Do
I personally believe that we affect a lot of our own happiness. Of course, there’s things in life that are out of your control and it’s perfectly normal (and natural) to be sad sometimes for good reason. But in this case I’m referring to the funk that moms sometimes get in because of everyday life.
By making some small changes, you can be a happy stay at home mom too. I know that they work for me!
So here’s the things that happy stay at home moms always do. How do I know? Because I am one.
They don’t sweat the small stuff
Yep, it’s a popular book that people probably don’t even know about nowadays. But it’s also the truth. You can’t spend all day worrying about little things that don’t matter! That means not stressing out too bad if your kid colours on the walls or you fed the chicken nuggets for dinner. Again.
I always ask myself: Will this matter in the long run? If the answer is no then usually I try not to worry.
Of course, that’s no reason not to discipline children or try and improve things. Just don’t blow it out of proportion.
Their house doesn’t need to be perfect
Yep, this is something a lot of moms struggle with. Including myself. Your house doesn’t need to be perfectly clean all the time. Doubly so if you’re not expecting anyone over!
I like to make sure things are tidy before my partner finishes work because we like our evenings to be spent in a clean house. Likewise, washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen after dinner means my mornings go a lot smoother.
But, I also don’t freak out if everything’s a mess anymore. It will eventually get clean and sometimes family time is more important.
Happy stay at home moms work on their marriage
This is another one that I learned from experience. After having a failed marriage I know how important it is to work on your relationship with your husband. Doubly so if you’re a stay at home mom who’s relying on your husband’s income.
Have regular date nights even if you can’t actually get out of the house to do them. Spend time talking to your partner. And most importantly, try not to nag, berate, or treat him like a child.
In return, you should also be forming a relationship that’s balanced. Yes, you’ll be doing more housework and child rearing but you both need time to yourselves (and breaks) too.
They take care of themselves
‘You can’t pour from an empty cup‘ is one of my favourite sayings, and with good reason. If you run yourself dry there won’t be anything left to give to your family. That means you have to take care of yourself in order to tkae care of everyone else.
Find out what your self care is and do that. Self care isn’t about being selfish, it’s about recharging. That might be spending time with a book, getting your hair done every so often, or playing a game. Whatever makes you a better mom the next day.
Another way to take care of yourself as a stay at home mom is to focus on your health. That means eating well, exercising, and so on.
They ask for help when they need it
As moms we always want to do it all. Working, looking after kids, taking care of the home… We take on so much and rarely ask for help. Unfortunately it can lead to burnout or even depression if you’re regularly failing at getting everything accomplished.
Happy stay at home moms turn to their circle for help when they truly need it. It might be getting your husband to care for the kids while you rest and recharge, joining a gym with childcare, or hiring someone to help with chores.
They also reach out to others when their mental health suffers or they’re struggling with a difficult stage of motherhood.
Happy stay at home moms avoid toxic social media
If possible, avoid social media altogether. Or just use it sparingly. One of the best things I did was to turn off notifications for most things so I have the control over when I look at stuff.
Not only is it a time sink, it also can bring down your self esteem and make you feeling like you’re missing out. When everyone else is living a ‘perfect life’ it’s really tough not to compare! It’s also a breeding ground for cruel people, especially on mom groups.
They know Pinterest isn’t real life
Ever scroll through Pinterest and wonder why your house isn’t as perfect as everyone else’s? Guess what! Most people don’t live that way. It’s important to put up those walls before checking out something like Pinterest, or even Instagram, and understand that the popular posts are popular because they’re unique and perfect, not because they’re normal.
It also means that you don’t need to do all of the things you see on there, too. They’re just ideas! I’ve heard from multiple people that they feel guilty over all the things they want to do but don’t get to. That’s definitely not the point of going on there.
Keeping up with the Jones’ is not important to them
I think most people are aware of this nowadays but it’s still pretty easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be like everyone else. Unfortunately (and fortunately), you’re the only one that can live your life. Their income might be different, or maybe they have secrets like mounting debt or a large inheritance.
Happy stay at home moms always work towards feeling secure with what they have. They know that just because the neighbour has a boat it doesn’t mean their kids are missing out on anything.
I have a friend who earns a good living and they live modesty on an acreage, and I have other friends with good incomes who spend every dime they earn and might struggle to save for retirement. You do you.
They appreciate what they have
Now I’m not saying you’re unhappy because you’re ungrateful, but that practicing gratitude improves happiness. You have to retrain your internal thinking so that your thoughts are more positive. Focus on the good instead of the bad.
You might not have everything you want, but if you have everything you need and you get to stay home with your children you’re doing better than a lot of people out there.
That also means not complaining too often. We all need to vent sometimes, but getting into a cycle of complaining can be toxic and further encourage your unhappiness.
Happy stay at home moms always choose to be happy
Like I said, being happy can be a choice. If you wake up each morning with a chip on your shoulder for no good reason, you’ve probably fallen into a routine of unhappiness. By choosing to be happy, you can break that cycle and approach your life more positively.
What this means will vary from person to person. It might mean spending less time complaining, or maybe it’s saying positive words of affirmation to yourself each morning. Whatever it is, choosing to be happy can make a world of difference.