I have shared custody of my kids which means my ex gets them half the time. Although most of the time I hate it and it causes me a lot of distress, it also means my partner and I get more time together than most couples with kids. I try and take advantage of that time which is why I hate watching TV with my partner. All I want to do when I have his attention is spend time together!
Why I hate watching TV with my partner
When the kids aren’t here we often eat meals in the living room. It’s not something I’m very fond of but he loves to eat while watching TV. What ends up happening is one of two things. I’m already grumpy because I don’t want to watch TV, I want to talk, and we bicker about which show to watch. Or we agree on something and then end up watching way too long.
I admit I go along with what he wants too much in this department. I have no interest in sitting in front of the TV all evening. After a day of being alone I want to talk to him and spend time together. I’d rather use that time playing a board game, completing projects around the house, or just connecting together.
On more than one occasion we have been mid conversation when he turns a show on. Now, he doesn’t do this to be rude, but as soon as the TV starts playing two things happen. One, I have to talk over it. And two, his attention shifts.
You can’t have a conversation when the TV is on.
When the kids aren’t here I spend most of my time alone. I run my business and work from home, or take care of household chores. I sometimes speak online with friends but I don’t have anyone in person who I see besides my mom. Working is important for our family and our goals so I have to focus on that when I have the time.
I’m lonely. And I want my partner.
I love spending time with him. Our conversations are the best, it’s what drew me to him in the first place. He’s my best friend.
Things I would rather do over watching TV with my partner in the evenings
There’s so much more you can do than just sit when you’re not watching TV. Here’s some of my favourite ways to spend time together:
- Play a board game. We’re huge into board games, especially complex ones. There are some that are more interactive than others so keep that in mind when choosing.
- Read something together. Whether it’s inspirational material or DIY instructions, it’s nice to grow together.
- Play a video game. We’ve been working out way through Overcooked 2 but there’s all kinds of co-op games out there!
- Complete a project together. Whether it’s cleaning out the basement or working on one of the many DIY projects our home needs this is one my favourite ways to spend time with my partner.
- Go for a walk. Or play a game like Pokémon Go together. It’s fun!
I’m trying to get better about voicing my opinion about what I want to do. I think that if I planned something my partner would be more than willing to do it! It’s also important to keep in mind that after being at work all day he’s tired. Sometimes I have to do what he wants, even if that means vegging out in front of the TV.