I’ve been stumped thinking about what I want to write about, so like any good blogger does, I asked my partner. He said “write about how much you love me”. Well, most of this blog is dedicated to that but it got me thinking. Do I tell him how much I love him enough? What are the things your husband needs to year from you? (Psst, we’re not married yet, but I use husband because it’s more common for people.)
10 Things your husband needs to hear from you
I’m not perfect. While he tells me I’m beautiful every day, I don’t tell him how attractive he is enough. He’s so thoughtful when it comes to me that he even got the twins telling me how pretty I am. Just the other day I pulled my hair back (to get it off my face, not to dress up) and one said “mommy, your hair is so “yootiful”. I died, my boys are so sweet.
Everyone likes to hear nice things, even men. Even when you’re exhausted after a day of looking after the kids or mad at him for leaving his dirty socks on the floor. Those are the times he needs to hear you love him the most. Show your husband respect and he’ll respect you more.
Men and women are wired differently so these are specifically ones I think men would like to hear. That doesn’t mean that women don’t need to be spoken to kindly too, but we tend to be more able to discuss these feelings than men are.
What does a husband needs to hear from his wife?
- Thank you. For going to work, for leading the family, for compromising on something in your favour, anything you’re grateful for.
- You’re capable. Of getting it all done in a day, that they’ll overcome whatever challenges they’re facing, etc.
- It’s going to be OK. Women aren’t the only ones who want to hear this!
- I trust you. If you’re facing something difficult this is extra important but even if you’re not just telling him you trust him to care your family will mean a lot.
- What can I do to help you? You probably do so much already but this is about reaching out and seeing how you can make his life better. Maybe you could make a simple change to improve his life a lot!
- I like being with you. It’s one thing to love someone but he also needs to hear that you actually like being around him. You’d be surprised how many couples seem to hate each other.
- I’ve got this. If he’s feeling worried about the responsibilities you have it’s important to remind him that you’re OK and he can relax, you’ve got this.
- I need you. Even if you’ve got it, and especially if you’re the type that is very independent, remind him that he’s needed. Even something as “I couldn’t do this without you” goes a long way.
- You’re doing a good job. Even if there’s things he needs to improve (we all have those) telling him that he’s doing, well, he’s a good father, a good husband, or pointing out his good decisions or hard work will make him feel good.
- I love you. How often do you say this to your husband? Whatever the answer, it can always be more.
Remembering to say nice things
I think it’s really important to remember to say some nice things to your partner every, no matter how you feel. But I’m not perfect and sometimes it’s easy to forget. Try setting a reminder on your phone or leaving a sticky note in your closet to remind yourself.
You could also hide love notes when you’re thinking nice things that he can discover later.